Pain During and After Sex- Everything You Need to Know

5 minute read

The Nightmare of Pain During and After Sex

It's bedtime and your partner wants to get busy. Unfortunately, all you can think about is the pain you're going to have to deal with.

You can visualize the chain of events before they even begin.

Kissing, touching, the clothes come off, and then things start to heat up.

Your partner starts moving toward penetration but your body isn't cooperating. This causes you to awkwardly stop things to get the coconut oil from under the bathroom sink.

If this scenario sounds familiar then you might be one of the many individuals experiencing pain during and/or after sex.

This can happen for many reasons like hormone shifts, past trauma, medical conditions, and more.

The good news is that there are things you can do to improve your situation re-igniting your passion for sex.

Causes of Pain During and After Sex

Let's dig into your pain and discomfort and get you on your way to having better sex!

Hormone Shifts

Hormones could be the culprit for a number of reasons.

Throughout your menstrual cycle, you will notice that you naturally feel dry a few days each month. This is because of low amounts of the hormone estrogen before and after your period.

Individuals who are going through menopause, peri-menopause, breastfeeding, cancer treatments, severe depression, etc might also notice excess dryness due to low estrogen.

If dryness is your main problem then lubrication can help. You might want to consider going for a lubricant that checks all the boxes on your list of preferences. Some prefer flavored lube while others are looking for unscented organic all-natural products. If you are using nixit, just remember to use a water-based (and not oil based) lubricant.

If lubrication doesn't give you the satisfaction you're looking for you may want to consult with a doctor about hormone therapy to boost estrogen levels.

Past Trauma

Having a history of relational abuse can have a huge impact on your sex life. This is true for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, or neglect.

Awful experiences like these can become trapped emotions stored in the body. For some, this can lead to a condition called vaginismus. If you are working through past trauma you might notice that engaging in intimacy causes you to feel insecure emotionally or even makes you physically lock up. This can lead to sex that is painful physically and emotionally.

First, if you're not sure whether you have experienced trauma consider learning more about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) . Click here to take the quiz .

Second, consider looking into therapeutic healing options that are available near you and fit your budget. Massage therapy, pelvic floor therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, and acupuncture are some possibilities. Learn about the practitioners in your area and pick one that resonates with you.


STI's and vaginal infections are a common cause of painful sex. If you notice sudden discomfort, in addition to a foul smell, painful urination, sores, or herpes contact a medical doctor right away.

Routine medications can generally clear up STI's, UTI's, and the like. Get to the doc and make a full recovery so you can get back to making love.

External Problems

There are many less common diagnoses that can lead to discomfort during sex. Some of these challenges are a result of problems occurring on the outside of the reproductive organs.

If you notice pain around your vulva or on the outside of your vaginal opening you may be dealing with a recent injury, vulvodynia, or dermatitis.

If a recent injury or surgery is your cause for concern consider waiting to engage in intercourse. This will give your body the time it needs to heal so that no additional injury is caused.

However, if you are dealing with one of the above medical problems contact a doctor to learn more.

Internal Problems

Sex can also illuminate pain inside the body that you might not have noticed otherwise. If this is the case for you it's possible that you have an internal problem going on.

Some common issues that lead to pain during sex include endometriosis, cervical issues, fibroids, cysts, prostatitis, and pelvic inflammation.

Generally, internal problems like the ones mentioned above need to be addressed by a medical doctor. Please contact a physician to get the answers you need to manage your pain or discomfort.

The Path to Your Best Sex Life Ever

At nixit , we aren't going to sugar coat it. Life is hard enough without having to deal with pain during and after sex. TBH many of the challenges addressed in this post won't have a quick and easy fix.

Ultimately, we believe that equipping you with information will lead you toward the answers you are seeking. You deserve to have the best sex life ever.

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